Heres Johnny!
Its been well over two years since my last post, I guess I havent had much to say or I am too "busy" to post. It occured to me that my too "busy" is actually procrastination. I find time to watch TV(way too much), rent a movie here and there and even just veg out and do nothing. That is not to say that I am not busy....I work two jobs, have a wife and three children I try to devote attention to and my mind is always looking for new and creative things to do(even if I never do some of them) So busy is relative......but it can quickly find its way into becomignthe excuse for everything. Sorry I didnt email you back, that project took a long time, how come you havent kept in touch...sorry I was so "busy"
What prompted this post out of the blue.......I was thinking about my having two jobs, especially the second. You would think as a model-maker and sometime designer I would have drummed up freelance work to keep myself busy and my bank account comfortably full. You would be wrong...instead I find myself in a job with very little creativity and a lot of routine("busy" work if you will). I am actually scared of putting myself in the position of having to deliver a product. I worked as a model-maker for over 10 years and was pretty good at it and finished every model I ever started, but for some reason cant see myself succeeding now. The frustration is I find it comfortable, the routine that is! Its the antithesis to what an artist/designer should want and yet I crave the stability and routine. My life growing up was fairly unstable, though my mom did her best to insulate me from the worst of it, so maybe that is the explanation. I am about to start school again to get my bachelors in the design field and yet here I am looking for routine. Maybe that is the tug o war between my two halves, the scared little kid looking for routine and stability and the creative boundary pusher always looking for the new. Maybe it is something I should embrace, pull myself out of my comfort zone. These posts will not always make sense and at times seem to ramble and thats because they do. I write as I am thinking and I dont want to edit.......it can make for a frenetic read.
Goodnight
What prompted this post out of the blue.......I was thinking about my having two jobs, especially the second. You would think as a model-maker and sometime designer I would have drummed up freelance work to keep myself busy and my bank account comfortably full. You would be wrong...instead I find myself in a job with very little creativity and a lot of routine("busy" work if you will). I am actually scared of putting myself in the position of having to deliver a product. I worked as a model-maker for over 10 years and was pretty good at it and finished every model I ever started, but for some reason cant see myself succeeding now. The frustration is I find it comfortable, the routine that is! Its the antithesis to what an artist/designer should want and yet I crave the stability and routine. My life growing up was fairly unstable, though my mom did her best to insulate me from the worst of it, so maybe that is the explanation. I am about to start school again to get my bachelors in the design field and yet here I am looking for routine. Maybe that is the tug o war between my two halves, the scared little kid looking for routine and stability and the creative boundary pusher always looking for the new. Maybe it is something I should embrace, pull myself out of my comfort zone. These posts will not always make sense and at times seem to ramble and thats because they do. I write as I am thinking and I dont want to edit.......it can make for a frenetic read.
Goodnight
posted by Mark Honschke at 11:27 PM
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